Jesus plus my leader bag does not equal Full Life

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I spent the last week leading a camp trip at Young Life’s Rockbridge I can honestly say that it was one of the best weeks of my life. Going into the week I knew that I was excited but I wasn’t sure what to expect out of the week. I thought about my packing list a lot before camp, I wanted to make sure that I had everything that I needed so that I could be the best leader possible. I’m one of those leaders who loads her bag with a bunch of extra stuff and proceeds to carry this bag around camp with her in case any of her girls might need things. Some of the things in my bag include ibuprofen, band aids, snacks, hand sanitizer, chap stick, sunblock, water, tissues, etc. It has been referred to as my “Mom Bag” in the past and I am completely ok with that. We were also headed to Rockbridge where I have a lot of experience so I knew where everything was and figured I would not need to ask for help….as usual the Lord had different plans than I did.

Throughout the course of the week, I had to ask for help-a lot! Starting at the first leader’s meeting I had to start asking for help. I couldn’t lead this trip on my own strength, even though I though that with my bag I wouldn’t need to ask anyone for anything. As the week proceeded and I realized that the only thing that had come out of my bag was ibuprofen I was floored. Something I have always struggled with is pride and over the course of this past week the Lord dealt with just that. I had to once again come to the realization for myself that Jesus plus NOTHING ELSE equals full life. I cannot depend on my mom bag or anything else to give me strength.

This past week reminded me of the truths that I know about Christ and the importance of my dependency on Him. It was a sweet week filled with peace despite many times where I was physically and mentally exhausted. I am so thankful that in my weakness He is always Strong.

Thanks for reading. Zaijian.

A Year Later

It’s been almost a year since I posted for the first time on this blog. And it has almost been two months since I posted last. Life has been crazy…first it was final exams and projects(most of my profs assigned a bunch of stuff for the end of the semester), then it was the crazy month of May with Graduations, Young life events, a trip to Houston, and two of the four weddings I attended in the last three weeks. The last two months have been great. I have journaled more, reflected on the Lord’s faithfulness, done a practicum and had some amazing conversations with people that I care about. I have caught up with a LOT of old friends, and a made a couple of special new ones. I have stayed in a lot of different places, put even more miles on my car(I have put about 25,000 on it since October), and really enjoyed the beauty of Lord’s creation around me. Beamer is growing like crazy and learning a lot, he is more on a schedule now which keeps both of us much more sane! Last week while I was doing my practicum and sitting by myself during a planning period I wrote the following that I would like to share.

June 6, 2013. A year ago I boarded a plane. A plane that took me away from the place that had become my home. Away from the people who had become my confidants. Away from the foods and smells(even the bad ones) that were familiar. Today marks a year back in America. A year on the soil on which I was born. A huge part of me is relieved that this year is over. Another huge part of me is sad that China seems even farther away now. This past year has taught me a lot. Perhaps even more than my time in China did…or perhaps I am only now processing the lessons that I learned there. Any time I do anything memories of China start flooding back. Memories of the life that I lived for two years. Lessons that I taught, and learned. Places that I visited. Conversations that were had.

This past year has not been a cake walk by any means, but this past weekend was a new beginning. It was a fresh start. It was a milestone. I chatted with a few friends on Monday and told them this past weekend was probably one of the most life-giving weekends this year. It helped me disbelieve some of the lies that Satan has been trying to convince me of this year, it reminded me how deeply and completely I am loved, and it helped me become even more excited about new beginnings.

Thanks for joining me on this journey this past year! This isn’t the end of the blog, because life after China is still going on, and I want it to be a FULL LIFE! Zaijian 🙂